I watched the rain pelt the window. The sound drowning out the intensive yelling that was occurring behind me. Green leaves and brown branches bent down, and then up, almost like they were waving. Smiling to myself I waved back pretending that they were the audience and I had just finished the performance of my life.
Suddenly there was a loud crash behind me, and I snapped out of my daydream, back into the nightmarish reality that was my life. “GET OUT!” My mother screamed picking up another vase to throw at my father’s face. With a seething glare my father grabbed his coat hanging on the rack by the door, and without even a glance at his only daughter he swung his coat on and walked out the door slamming it behind him. My mother dropped the vase to the ground shattering it, and then she herself followed breaking out into heaving sobs that wracked her whole body. I could see the pieces of glass cutting into her knees, causing red drops to flow down her legs onto the white floor, but she didn’t seem to notice, let alone care. Her blonde hair fell down around her face, almost cocooning her into a shield, but I knew that it wasn’t doing anything to protect her heart. I turned back to the window, but the rain had increased its intensity, and I could only see blurs of green and brown. My audience had disappeared. Reluctantly I stood up and went to the closet grabbing a broom, dustpan, and the med kit. On the way to clean up I spotted the only picture of all of us as a family. My parents smiling faces gazing at eachother, while my still chubby face was lit up into a huge grin as I stared at the camera. With a small glance at my broken mother on the ground I turned the frame down, knowing that I was going to have to hide it from her later if I didn’t want it to end up in the trash and ripped to shreds. I quickly swept up the first broken vase, grateful that she had missed hitting father. As much as I hated him, he was still the person that had raised me and given me the life that I was living now. After disposing of the shards in the trash I walked over to my mother, who had finally quieted her sobbing, and was now just absently watching as the blood from her leg pooled on the floor. With my hand I grabbed her softly by the arm and lifted her to her feet. She turned to look at me, but her eyes were lifeless. My mother wasn’t really there. I led her slowly over to the couch, and carefully removed the pieces of glass that had embedded themselves within her knee. Then I disinfected the spot, without even a flinch of pain from her. A single tear fell from my eye, but I continued to work, knowing that there needed to at least be one of us strong in this household. Later that night as I lay in my bed I could hear noises of car alarms and gunshots from the next room over, and under my door I notice flashes of red and blue from the TV. I finally let out the tears that I had been holding in, and before long my pillow is soaked. My eyes heavy from the tears finally fell closed, and I drifted off to the sound of violence coming from a box. *** “Once you’ve figured out what the third side equals using pythagoras theorem you are then able to solve for area and perimeter.” My math teacher lectured us, drawing examples on the board. Lazily I let my eyes wander away from the front of the room, and instead found myself staring outside. The sunshine is a welcome sight from the torrential downpour of yesterday. Birds fly by the window on their way to a nest in a tree by our school’s track. I know this because I’ve actually climbed the tree during my free time to see the baby birds that had just hatched. A small smile crosses my face at the thought of the cute cheeping birds. “Rach?” My name being called pulls me away from the window, and I turn to face the rest of the classroom and a disapproving green eyed all knowing look from my teacher. A few snickers come from a few of my classmates, and I realize that I have just been asked a question. “Yes?” I ask timidly, knowing that I was in trouble. “See me after class, okay?” She commands then continues by asking the question to somebody else who readily answers it with a sly look in my direction. The bell rings and my classmates grab their belongings, almost sprinting out of the classroom, ready to get home or hang out with friends. I let them scatter until it’s just me and the teacher left in the room. Slowly I stand up, grabbing my one notebook, which doesn’t have any real notes in it, just doodles. My teacher is sitting at her desk straightening papers. My walk of shame begins, and before long I’m standing in front of her, getting ready for her criticisms. “Rachel, do you have any friends?” She asked throwing me off guard. “What?” I ask stupidly. “I asked if there was anybody that you spend your time outside of school with?” “N-no, not really. Usually I just go home and read books.” “Rachel, I’m really worried for your future. You’re an excellent student, and are able to grasp concepts readily, but if you don’t have a social connection I’m afraid you may fall into depression.” She leaned back in her chair and regarded me. “Can you at least try to make a friend?” “I guess so.” I answered not really planning on following through on my promise. She nods her head, and then waves me away, going back to sorting her papers. *** The walk home was hot, and I pitied myself for choosing to wear and dark black sweatshirt. Then I remembered that I had worn a shirt underneath. A little too fast I lifted the sweatshirt from my body, but got it stuck as it was going over my head. I paused my forward momentum and struggled with the thick black weight that had entangled itself on my arms and head. There was a light tap on my shoulder, and I stopped trying to wiggle out. “Can I help you?” A tiny voice asked. I nodded moving my arms and head at the same time. Suddenly fingers were gripping the bottom of the sweatshirt and lifted up, revealing the bright hot sun once again. Turning around I discovered that my helper is actually a girl in my grade. I nod my head in thanks then get ready to continue my walk home, but then she stops me grabbing my arm and smiling. “Rachel! Wow, I didn’t know that this was you. I don’t know if you know me, but I actually live across the street from your house.” She blurted talking a mile a minute, and pointing in the direction of our neighborhood. I nodded nervously then tried to pull away again but she held on, not wanting to let me leave. “Do you want to go grab some pizza? I know this great place and it’s cheap. I’ll pay!” She continued. Finally relenting I agreed, and she dragged me off in the opposite direction of my house, talking about completely random topics and not seeming to care if I was actually listening or not. The pizza place was a small run down building that I had walked past before with my parents. Surprisingly there was a fair amount of people in the building laughing and eating pizza. The girl looked back at me noticing my steady gaze on the building and then she chuckled, continuing to pull me inside and into the line of hungry people waiting to order. The food was actually good, and I found myself shoving piece after piece into my mouth. The girl, or I think her name was Pat or something ate as well, but every once and awhile I would notice her eyes on my face, watching me. We finished quickly then left. Before I could even try to slip away though she had me by the arm and was dragging me towards the community playground. “You know, you’ve always piqued my interest.” She started. “When I first met you last year I thought you were the coolest person.” I looked at her startled at her admittance. “You always seemed to do well on the tests and quizzes, yet never seemed to pay attention in class. Also your doodles that you draw in your notebook are amazing!” I feel my face grow red as her words register. She notices, but only gives a small smile before plopping me down on the swingset. Thankfully the park is empty, except for two little girls who lived in the area. They were about eight years old and were running up and down the playset playing a game of tag or something. Pat sat down on the swing next to me, and without hesitating she started pumping her legs back and forth in a consistent rhythm that immediately got her making huge arcs with her swing. Large squeaks came from the rusting chains connected to the seat, but she didn’t seem to care and with a blissful smile she continued to swing glancing down at me every once and awhile. Suddenly she stopped swinging, jumping off and landing on her feet before running over to me with a crazy smile on her face. “Do that again!” She shouted. “What?” I asked looking at her confused. “With you lips!! You just smiled. That's the first time I’ve ever seen you smile at someone. Usually you only smile when you look outside. I’m so glad that I’m your first classmate to make you smile!” She twirled before focusing on me again. “I’m so glad that I took you here, I can tell that we’re going to be such good friends!” “Um, excuse me? Can we use the swings?” A small girl's voice asked dragging my startled gaze away from Pat and instead on the two other girls that had been playing tag before. The one that had asked the question was smiling brightly while holding the other one's arm in her hand. The one behind her was shyly looking down staring at the ground and was blushing slightly. “Sure girls, they’re all yours.” Pat answered grabbing my own arm and dragging me out of the park and towards home. I glanced back at the girls and discovered that the shy one was sitting on the swing while the one that asked to use the swings was pushing her, both of them had huge smiles on their faces. Looking at Pat, I realized what I had really been lacking all of my life. It was like the weight that had been on my heart for so long had lifted slightly, almost like this fast talking, full of thoughts girl was helping me lift the strain of life off my shoulders. Without realizing it another smile came across my face as I realized that all I needed was a little love.
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